You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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