Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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