Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
