Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
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I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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