great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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