I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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