Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
