do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.