I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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