it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
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My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"