So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
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I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.