Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
