just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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