just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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