So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize