Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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