Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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