I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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