You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
FUCK WHALES
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
