I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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