woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
porn star boner night. come get it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
