Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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