So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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