oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
