My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
