I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
