come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
