My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just pee around me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
