he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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