Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
