To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
