i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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