Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
