have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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