About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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