just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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