Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
