we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
