YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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