whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
