Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
