Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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