You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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