My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
