Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
