Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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