Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Found your dick twin last night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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