just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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