i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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