her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
someone owes me an orgasm
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
