I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
