where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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