Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
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I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
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Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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