thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
