He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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