College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
