she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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