Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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