Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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