I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
