if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
