I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
