This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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