btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
we should paint friendship bongs
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize