We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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