Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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