Where did you get a picture of my penis
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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