If i come over, it means nothing
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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